We all have an inner voice and carry on an inner conversation with ourselves. To every stimulus or outside influence we have an inner response. The outside influence or events can be treated as life and its events, they may leave you happy, sad, and frustrated but your inner response to these events is what makes your personality.

For instance if you have lost a job, you could react by blaming yourself or say that you are a loser or blame people at work or think that yes it is sad but I learnt a few things from this incident and of course leaving this situation gives me a chance to explore new opportunities.

If you want to go beyond failures then do not focus on failures, rather see what you learnt from the situation. As human beings we are highly sensitive to criticism or negative remarks, but what you make of these remarks is up to you. Remember there will be people who will take pleasure in putting you down but how you deal with them is up to you. Take the criticism constructively.

You might wonder why we keep using inner negative dialogues when we know it can harm us but the fact is that in a strange way it supports us. It helps us in explaining possible fears and failures. Its like you do your best to learn a sport and then find out that you are still not in the national team because the competition was better than you, if you had a negative inner system you would not even take the course thinking what if I fail even if I take the course, so when failure happens you don’t feel that you failed even after trying.

When you build such a back up system, you learn to avoid the stress associated with trying to reach out. The way out is to challenge yourself and not allow your inner fears to paralyze you and stay put in a situation because what if you failed even after trying.

The solution out of this situation is, be positive and realistic. Positive internal dialogue is more than just a litany of feel good mantras, it is rationally optimistic self talk, it is truthful engagement with the real world. Don’t blame yourself or accept yourself rather have an honest dialogue which helps you grow.

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